Thursday, March 31, 2011

{Witty title about cleaning here.}

These recent 1.2 day(s) of warm weather have made me start making lists. Well. That's a lie. Actually I'm constantly a creepy ''list-maker'' (I LOVE LISTS. Love them. I have a specific notebook in my purse dedicated to lists only. I call it my vomit book because basically I get thought-vomit floating around stressing me out all day. But I've found that if I list it all out then I usually feel better and can relax. I've actually got quite the system down. Ask me about it sometime. What do I list you ask? Anything and everything. Give me a topic and I'll write a list about it. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm at a disease-listing level. I think sometimes John wants to admit me...but that's another story. Why do I get on paragraph long tangents? You're fine.) but a particular list has been finding its way onto sticky notes on my desk, in my purse and on my fridge. 

That list is titled: SPRING CLEANING 2011 

So if you're goes. This is the moment where you start to get an idea about how sick this list disease really is. 

- Dust blinds / scrub or power wash them
- Dust ceiling fans
- Rinse filters on AC units (Yeah, we're poor and in an apartment without central air. We're fine.)
- Clean windows / window sills inside and out
- Clean out fridge and scrub it!
- Rotate matress
- Give ''stuff'' an over-haul and give a bunch to charity
- Wash comforter
- Clean out / refresh pantry
- Wipe walls
- Wipe doorjams (Dirty fingerprints...I know you have them.)
- Wash shower curtain and buy a new liner
- Wash throw pillows
- Organize computer and delete old files
- Clean porch / cobwebs / sweep etc
- Wipe BBQ
- Throw away old cosmetics and lotions (Amazing how this stuff builds...right?)
- Pour Drain-O down sinks and tub (With the amount of hair I shed you'd think I'd be bald by now...)
- Clean top of fridge
- Scrub kitchen sink
- Wash / hose out garbage can
- General organizing session

Yay for cleaning. (bleh) I MAY or MAY NOT be one of those people who like to clean. You'll never know. At least it's warm-er outside...

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I am so graceful! For reals.

Preeetttyyy sure I fell ON MY FACE at work a few days ago. In the kitchen. I was wearing my new 6" heels (yeah. six inches baby! Just call me a Victoria's Secret model. Apparently they elongate my legs and make my calves look screamin. Who knows. All I know is that they boost myself esteem like 6 points. EXCEPT FOR THIS STORY...) anyway so here I am heading home from work with my friends from the office and I was all "oh, I have to run in the kitchen and put away my carrots (I've started taking carrots and dip to work since for some reason everyday I get a case of the 3 pm - 4 pm munchies. munch munch munch...yaom yaom yaom) so I hurry into the kitchen and gracefully stumble....once....twice...three times. Each time that "graceful stumble" gets a little more intense. You know how it goes. It's like— crap! I'm falling! oh wait. caught myself. Crap! falling again. oh good. I'm safe. Did anyone see that? CRAP! Whew close callll....BAM. I'm on my face. Bag of carrots flings and smacks against the wall. Coworkers start laughing but feel bad so in the middle of a giggle try to ask if I'm ok. I'm just fine but remember those 6 points of high-heel induced self esteem? Yeah. Out. The. Window. I'm soooo cute! Remind me again how I go in public with myself?

Monday, March 28, 2011

It tickles when they massage my feet.

This made me SUPER happy over the weekend:

Fire-Engine Red toenails and green green grass.

Thank goodness for spring break and warm places. Too bad it's Monday now and snowing. *sigh*

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Don't take it personal K?

So. April first is coming up and I'd like to say that it is one of my favorite holidays...but that's sort of not true. 1. Because, is it even a holiday? Who the heck came up with it? and 2. Because I always screw it up. I love pranks and teasing and am, in fact, married to the biggest tease on planet earth so you'd think it would be right up my alley...but you'd be wrong.

As I sit here, two memories come to mind. Last year I thought I had the perfect joke to play on my family. I decided I would pretend I was pregnant. (woohoo so original right?) After John and I brought my family together in the kitchen and "announced" our big news, what happened next was NEVER part of the plan.  I guess I just hadn't thought as far as if people actually believed me but my Dad MORE than believed me. He started clapping his hands and his face lit up brighter than I've EVER seen it and he ran over and started hugging us all the while chanting "I'm gonna be a Grandpa!". My heart sank. How rude are we? Ya. Big. Fat. Jerks. When I broke the news while he was hugging me the look on his face wanted to make me cry. He just stammered..."whha..whatt?" and then just sort of stared at us. No one even laughed. AWESOME Sarah. What a success. Yeah. Super sad and awkward. Story of my life. If you manage to make a situation that awkward while standing in a room full of your own kin then you've got a special talent and come find me cause I have that same talent. 

I guess you could say I was getting back at my Dad for the OTHER April Fools memory that I'm reminiscing about. I was around ten years old innocently eating my breakfast on the morning of April 1 not having a clue that it's April Fools, when my loving father tells me that my bestest bestie in the whole world Marie is moving to California. After interrogating him about how he knew FOR SURE that she was moving I just burst into tears and sobbed up to my room. After which my Dad, probably feeling about how I felt the day I told him I was pregnant, came into my room sat on my bed and rubbed my back while asking me "What day is it Sarah?" Hello Daddy. I'm ten. I just got told that the world was going to end and you're expecting me to figure it out that it's April fools? Yup. 

So now, as April 1 draws nearer, I'm left to wonder who's feelings I'm going to hurt this year....

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Zits are SUUUUUPER fun!

BIG. FAT. NOT.'s the dealio. I have a fun little tip when you're feeling a little zit-faced. Ya know how you get little scabs etc after you have an enjoyable night of getting up close and personal in the mirror with your bumpy little red friends? And you know how the next morning when you go to put cover up on them it just doesn't cover nicely because things are...ahem...shall we say crusty? Well all you have to do is buff them off! Take one of your nail files (the cube ones work the best for me) and buff away! (dab with a wet washcloth after) You'll find that soon your forehead is smoother than a babies bottom your cover up will go on A LOT nicer.

PS. I THOUGHT I was done with the puberty thing? parently not. *sigh*

Monday, March 21, 2011

Chunky and GREEN just the way I like it. What??

You guyyyyyys. I know I already said this on twitter but I just HAD to post about it today cause I'm that proud of myself and I'm that interested in sharing the joy with you. After working out this morning I was teasing my mom that we needed to drink a recovery drink. Well she pipes up that she tasted one at Costco that was pretty good so we decided to make it. AND IT WAS AWESOME. Here is the recipe:

1 handful spinach
1 peeled orange (whole)
1/2 an apple with peel on it
little wedge of lemon with peel on it
little wedge of lime with peel on it
1 large spoonful of frozen white grape juice concentrate

Put in a blender and blend REALLY WELL and enjoy!

K this is seriously yummy. I know I know you don't trust me but would I lead you astray? would I? Don't you dare say yes. Here's the thing, if I went home and made a blender full all for myself to store in the fridge then this stuff is good. It's really limey and refreshing! Nothing like other spinach drinks I've had. The only thing is that you have to get over the bright green color. Hahah happy late St. Patricks day I guess! 

Ps. Plus you get to feel like you're one of those trendy worker-outers type too (cause lets be honest, up until this point I didn't think NORMAL people drank spinach drinks...)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Need a Bookie?

Because I work for a purse company that is 75% female employees, I took it upon myself to start an office bracket pool today. I mean, it must be written in the rules somewhere that offices should have a pool right? Right. Well, I'm pretty proud of myself. Next thing I knew I was collecting money and everyone was asking me questions as if I knew what I was talking about and who to predict. Not going to lie...this felt pretty awesome. Especially since my bracket was a big fat guessing game and I'm pretty sure I'll do better than the boys in the office just for that reason. Why is that? Who knows.

Anyway, what I've learned:
1. Gonzaga is the coolest word to say. Sort of like Zimbabwe (just because I like saying the name I MAY HAVE chose them to win a round or two...)
2. Some people actually don't know how to fill out/read a bracket. (thank you father for teaching me)
3. BYU is NOT getting past sweet sixteen without Davies
4. Despite my urge to pick Duke yet again, I didn't.
5. I may sound like I know what I'm talking about but I don't.
6. Had to change my final four pick after my wonderful husband came home and said "You picked WHO?" and then laughed his butt off.

I think I make a pretty good bookie. Not gonna lie. 

Monday, March 14, 2011

Oreos and Milk. Can life get better? I submit that it cannot!

"Sarah! What are you doing?!"

"I'm not a flippen zoo animal!"

"Sarah, you seriously can't blog about that."

"If you're blogging about my oreos I'm just gonna snap!"

Oh. How I love nights filled with John's homework! YEAH RIGHT. Have I mentioned how ready I am for him to be grad-u-ated? 6.5 weeks and counting! Bam.

Ps. Please note his positioning...oreo on fork dipped in cup full of milk (that he DRINKS after! yuck! with all the little black soggy oreo chunks and everything! I judge him.) eyes glued to ESPN which he REFUSES to turn off while he does his homework. How DARE I suggest he miss even a second of it! Man I love him!

Must have this!

Um. Hai. Came accross this, this morning. Click here to see the tshirt in all it's glory. 

Friday, March 11, 2011

Aching to be there.

Bear Lake in the winter anyone???


Just set up my very own twitter account! yaaaaayyyy I'm a llama again! What? I dont know.


clever I know.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Think you can guess what that is? FEAR OF NEEDLES. I have it biiiiiigggg time. Bleh. They freak me out what can I say? 

So the other week I wasn't feeling so hot so I went to the good old insta-care. Turns out I had strep and was prescribed Amoxicillin. Welllll APPARENTLY I'm allergic to amoxicillin because about 6 days later I broke out in crazy, gross, VISCOUS hives. All over my body. Like, gross style. So gross in fact that I'm not even going to post the pictures cause you might vomit. Lets just say that everyone I've showed them too reacts like "OH. MY. GOSH. Sarah!!" to which I respond, "I know right?" But what I really wanna say is..."I toooooolllld you it was bad!" So I'm not lying people. It was BAD. The red bumps were even in my ears and in my mouth and on the palms of my hands. sick.

Annnnywayy. I'm sitting at the Insta-care yet again while my hives rage an everyone stares at me like I'm some monster. Why is that? The chick who is hacking out her right lung and browsing through a magazine that she found on the chair next to her which probably has been thumbed through by 150 people who were ALSO hacking up a lung is giving me the evil eye? are you kidding me? I wanted to turn to her and while widening my eyes shout "boo!". and then say "you're the one that's contagious! Step off!" But I didn't. Instead, I just popped my collar on my coat and tried to turtle move my head into my shoulders. Didn't work. 

Well the doctor took one look at me and said "whoa. we need to get meds in you quick!" Yeah. figured that. So then he begins to tell me that he wanted to give me a shot to make the medication start circulating faster. At about this point I started to panic. He then did what every doctor has to do when they mention a shot. Stop mid sentence and ask "are you alright?" to which I reply (while getting choked up might I add) "I just really hate needles." He smiles, chuckles and says it won't be too bad. Gee phanks bud. Soooo the nurse comes in and at this point I'm out right crying. She starts cooing and trying to talk me through it which doesn't work. Lets just say I am 24 years old and was BAWLING laying on my side on that BLASTED crinkley paper while she stuck a needle in my bum. A needle which, might I add was supposed to take all my troubles away. Why is this so ironic?

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Ooooh it's vintage. I simply must have it.

I get that vintage is the new ''in'' right now but sometimes I just want to BARF all over the place when I read all these blogs about "ooooh look at this 800 year old hat" or "I MUST have this ugly old lamp!" some vintage things are cool and totally worth bringing back into circulation but seriously? Bleh!

Guess what? Sometimes VINTAGE is just another word for "used to be in style once forever ago."

Right now, I'm in the mood for some Lady GaGa, sitting on my plain tan couch watching Seinfeld, drinking diet coke out of my pink tupperware cup I got at Walmart.

Just sayin...

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

If the glove fits....

So...I do something weird. Something that I never realized was weird until I got married. I wear rubber gloves when I do the dishes. Here I was on our first week of blissful union trying to be suzie-homeaker doing the dishes (by HAND might I add. We only have one little dishwasher and that dishwasher is Muah. Yours Truly. ME.) And my lovely husband walks in and starts laughing his head off picking up one of them in between his thumb and pointer finger as if they are a used tissue or something and asks "what are these?!" He had never seen someone do this. 

Since he loves to tease me on a daily basis I chose to ignore it and go on as if it is normal. I finally accepted that it was a little strange when one of our good friends went to get a glass of water in our kitchen and came out holding it THE SAME WAY asking "do you actually wear these?!" I wailed back "Yessss IIIII ddoooooo" and then felt like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride...fists clenched and everything.

I learned it from my mom. When I asked her why she wears them she said "Because I think hot water makes your hands look old." I thought it was because the old food grossed her out. That's why I wear them. But young looking hands is always a plus as well! Thank you mom for starting a tradition that I will probably hand down to my own daughters someday. (Cause, lets be honest. Who wants old looking hands?)

This Bug is Blogging me.

I mean, this BLOG is BUGGING me. I can't decide what I want this blog to be. So frustrated.